hmp. on being shy

I have been battling an inner battle lately about blog posting. And then, through Jamie Ridler‘s newsletter that I read today, I came across Jen Lemen and her beautiful post about the truth, and how to be it on your blog.

See, it’s scary to think about people knowing who I am and what I’m thinking and what inspires me and how it might not fit the mould that he or she (that you, out there, reading this, maybe who has met me face to face) has created and dropped me in. Or, that I have created and no longer fit. What do I do when I see you face to face and I know that you know that I’m not what you thought I was? And, why does that matter so much? Why do I care? I have been thinking about this a lot, and expect to think about it some more.

I’m so glad that I stumbled onto jen lemen’s site today, because she says it best: “we are all so multi-faceted, so multi-dimensional that it’s nearly impossible for anyone to know us truly as we are. which is why it is imperative that we continue to love one another, that we commit to deeply listening and leaning in to each moment, because none of us know what unseen and vital part will now be revealed.”

Ahhh. That’s it, isn’t it? And here I am, posting. When I thought it was way too scary to be honest and real and just a little bit revealing.

Comments. If you’re reading this, and it hits home for you, would you leave me a note? If we’ve met face to face, why is it so different and sometimes awkward to meet online too? Why is it so hard to, as jen puts it, “lean in to each moment?” Thoughts and ideas are very welcome; but advices are better kept for yourself.

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4 Responses to hmp. on being shy

  1. Ooh…I’m so glad you introduced me to Jen Lemen’s blog. I wasn’t familiar with her, but I think I’ll be doing a bit of reading!

    I totally relate to this struggle, and I’m constantly asking myself why I care what people think. I don’t want to care, but I do. And it’s always hardest to risk not fitting the mold (er, mould) with people I already know.

    Clean slates are so much easier to work with. Which I guess is why I find it relatively easy to post about things on my blog or on Twitter that I might not mention at all to my family. But eventually there will be a mold even with these once-strangers.

    And as you (and Jen) said, it’s about allowing ourselves to be seen despite the risks.

    I don’t know if it’s 100% true, but I’m betting a lot of the struggle goes back to our reptile brains, and not wanting to get ousted from the tribe. I wonder how long it will take for those tendencies to evolve out of our genetic makeup.

  2. Lori-Ann says:

    Thanks, Victoria! Yes to the reptile-tribe scenario. . . which isn’t so different from some of our lived realities of getting through grade seven as a girl–as much as we know that that isn’t real life, i think that same “ousting” still sits in our memories somewhere.

    And as a wise woman guided me recently, maybe where we are doing our learning right now is where we most need to lead or teach (to paraphrase). So is it then, that stepping out into these scary areas is a way of leading? I think it might be.

  3. Ok, I remember reading mention of Jen Lemen’s blog on Jen Lee’s (Jen Lee is a wonderful – open, vulnerable, and wise writer) — but I never checked her blog out — I think you guys (Lori-Ann & Victoria) convinced me – I’ll check her blog out later today!

    I’m with both of you on the being seen thing! Hard – and yet – being truly seen and heard seems to be our deepest desire. Which, I guess, is why we hesitate — if we share who we really are (in that moment) and are rejected or left unnoticed – then what?

    Love the wisdom shared here: Lori-Ann’s, Victoria’s, Jen Lemen’s and Lori-Ann’s wise woman guide! Thanks!!

    • Lori-Ann says:

      Hi Square-Peg Karen–thanks for stopping by, and moreover, for “getting” it. Yes, being truly seen and heard seems to be it. On that note, I think I need to come over for a visit (well, virtually, anyway!).

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